"What to Say?" July 27 Readings: Job 3-4, Acts 21:1–16, Psalm 88:11–18, Proverbs 18:19–20

Today's Readings - 

Devotional 

I stared at him like he was an alien, with horror and embarrassment. We were looking at old pics of our high schools days and I saw one with someone I didn't recognize. "Who is that?" I asked. "That's my brother," he responded. His brother, during his college years, had become despondent and committed suicide. What should I say? How should I respond? I didn't know. I panicked. I said nothing as the awkward moment passed. I'd love to go back to those days, with what I know now, and offer my friend a word of encouragement.

You might have had a moment like that, when you did not know what to say to minister to someone in a time of grief and pain. There is a lot to learn from Job's friends, both positive and negative, about situations like that.

Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, performed one of the most amazing acts of friendship anyone has ever seen. When they came to comfort their friend Job, after he had lost his wealth, his home and his children in horrible accidents, they sat with him in silence for seven days. They simply sat there and let him know that they cared and that they were there to help him.

They communicated to Job, by their presence and their silence, the two most important messages hurting and grieving people need to hear.

• I care about you. 
• I am here for you. I'm going to be here for you. 

Had Job ended with chapter 2, these men would have gone down as three of the greatest men who ever lived. But everything changed in chapter 3 when Job began to cry out and express his grief, depression, and despair. Look at Job 3:3-5.

“Let the day perish on which I was born,

    and the night that said,

    ‘A man is conceived.’

Let that day be darkness!

    May God above not seek it,

    nor light shine upon it.

Let gloom and deep darkness claim it.

    Let clouds dwell upon it;

    let the blackness of the day terrify it..

That's when the trouble started. They lost their chance to go down in history as some of the greatest men who ever lived when they opened their mouths. Instead of supporting their friend, they wheeled out their faulty theology and tried to force Job's situation into its parameters. They tried to explain everything God was doing, fit everything neatly into their cliched spiritual box and by doing so, drove Job to anger and even to sin.

All the troubles that Job went through could not cause him to sin. He faced the loss of his wealth and his family with faith and dependence on God. But when his friends tried to force their false and simplistic theology on them, it did what Satan's machinations could not.

In chapter 4, we are introduced to Educated Eliphaz who acted like God's professor, explaining everything God did based on his outlook. Next, we will meet Bildad the Blowhard and Zealous Zophar. Each has a different view but they all say the same thing - it's your fault, Job. Your sin brought this on and you need to repent.

If only they'd kept their mouths shut!

When someone is suffering, you don't need to try to do the Holy Spirit's job. You cannot explain all of the activity of the sovereign God. But you can communicate two messages to them by your words and your deeds.

• God loves you and is not going to abandon you no matter how things look. Trust God even when you don't understand him. 
• I love you and I'm not going anywhere!

Just don't be like Job's friends, who smugly thought they knew everything and that they could explain all of God's workings to a hurting man.

Father, I trust you even when I can't understand you. Help me to be a friend to those in need, not like Job's friends, but a true friend!

Think and Pray

Have you had one of those moments when you didn't know what to say?
Think through those types of scenarios and what you should and shouldn't say.