Wednesday, June 22, 2016

I Am the Worst - June 22 Readings: 1 Timothy 1


Context

1 Timothy 1 begins the last of Paul's letters, known as the Pastoral Letters (written to "pastors" Timothy and Titus). After Acts, Paul was released and traveled around in ministry until his re-arrest and eventual execution by Nero. These letters are believed to have been written during his second imprisonment. They give instructions to these church leaders about organization and administration of a church and what it means to be a leader. 

Several things come to the forefront - the importance of character in church leaders, the highest value Paul places on the reading and preaching of God's word, warnings against false teachers, and calls to these two pastors to be faithful no matter what comes. 

Devotional - I Am the Worst

When I look back at my life, there are many moments of which I am not particularly proud. I dated a girl one summer, when I was working at a Christian camp in Missouri, who had an annoying habit of putting herself down all the time. She did it so that I would compliment her. "I'm so ugly." "No, you aren't. You are pretty." That's what she wanted. But being the mature man of grace that I was I decided that it would be best if I simply agreed with everything she said. Whenever she put herself down, I agreed with her. "I'm stupid." "Well, if you say so." Strangely, our relationship only lasted a few weeks.

That young lady wasn't sincerely demeaning herself. She was fishing for compliments. She didn't truly believe she was ugly or stupid, she was just trying to get me to say what she wanted to hear me say. But in 1 Timothy 1:15 Paul was speaking truthfully when he said that Christ came to save sinners and then said, "of whom I am the worst." That was not false modesty. He was not fishing for a compliment or trying to get Christ or anyone else to say, "Now, Paul, you know you really aren't that bad a person! Paul was speaking the hard, cold truth.

Note that when he said that, two things were true. He was towards the end of his life, having achieved a great deal of spiritual growth and maturity. This was not the newly-converted Saul who spoke to Ananias. This was the apostle to the Gentlies, the missionary of missionaries. This was the greatest evangelist the church has ever known. Yet still he called himself the chief of sinners here at the end of his life - in the present tense. He does not say, "I was the chief of sinners" but he says, "I am the worst."

Paul was constantly aware of his own sinful weakness. Of course, this does not mean that he indulged the flesh or lived carelessly. He was holy and battled the sinful flesh. He would not sin that grace might abound. He is not saying here that he had given himself over to a lifestyle of sin. But he is saying that as he grew in Christ he was ever aware that it was Christ's merit not his own that mattered. He was saved by grace not by his own righteousness.

The truly mature believer does not become self-righteous and superior as he grows in Christ. A woman of God who reaches maturity does not deny her sin. No, such a person, even as he or she walks in holiness and in the fullness of the Spirit becomes increasingly aware of their own weakness, the frailty of the flesh, their absolute need for Christ, and the utter depravity of human condition.

Paul was instructing Timothy here on how to lead the church of God. In his first admonition he made it clear that the core of Christian leadership is the realization that one is a sinner, utterly unworthy of anything but hell, who has become a recipient of grace. We are dependent on Christ for everything.

No one can become a successful servant of Jesus Christ until he or she reaches that point of despair in the flesh and dependence on Christ. It's not some kind of false humility. No, it is the secret of our lives as believers. For us, it is not morbid or "negativtive" to consider our sins. It is the key to everything good and glorious in life.

Father, May Jesus Christ be praised as the only hope of salvation and sustaining grace in my life. I am weak but he is strong. 

Think and Pray

Do you depend on yourself, or like Paul do you remind yourself of your own depravity, your utter and total dependence on the work of God for all things?
Do so today. 

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