I have always had trouble responding to criticism. Normally, I handle it pretty well when it is being given - God has often given me that grace to listen to people as the rail against my abundant inadequacies. It is afterwards that the trouble sets in. Sometimes it is anger; sometimes it is paralyzing sorrow or depression. I used to call them my "fetal position" days - when all I wanted to do was curl up on my bed in a ball and block out the world. I either wanted to strike back and block out the world.
None of us particularly likes to be criticized, bashed, persecuted, blamed, railed against, or in any other way spoken ill of, do we?
In 2003 I began an email blast called "WORD Processing" in which I sent out devotionals on a semi-regular (I think that is another word for sporadic) basis. God blessed it far beyond my expectations and a couple of my emails got picked up and carried around the world. I was amazed. I received thank you notes from people all over who read what I had written and were blessed by it. But I also received a couple of notes criticizing what I had said. "Take me off your list." "That was not biblical." I'm not sure what the ratio was, but the affirmation was much greater than the criticism. Guess what happened to me? You got it the first time. Fetal position! I let this blessing from God, this opportunity from heaven die because I couldn't handle a few words of criticism from some people I didn't even know!
Then, blogging happened. I started posting some comments, then started my own blog, then got invited to join one of the more active blogs as a writer, and pretty soon I was the editor-in-chief of one of the premiere group blogs in our denomination. Along with that came...one guess...yep! Criticism. This time it was harsh and mean-spirited. You can find articles and comments about me on blogs calling me just about every name in the book!
But something had happened to me in those years. I'd grown a thicker skin - thank God! It still hurt, but I tended to laugh it off now. "Look what John Doe wrote about me this week!" Suddenly, I saw myself going to the other end of the spectrum. I was no longer crumbling under every criticism, but I was developing such a thick shell that I wondered if maybe I was a little bit cynical, even insensitive.
There is a fine line down the middle of the road that we have to walk in this sinful world. We cannot be hard-hearted or cynical, immune to the criticisms of others. But neither can we crumple under them and live our lives in fear of others' opinions. Peter knew what this was all about. He was constantly accused falsely, beaten, imprisoned, and suffered extensively for loving Jesus and serving him. In 1 Peter 3:8-22, he gives a powerful and humanly impossible attitude toward suffering, criticism, and hostility from others.
It is all based on the work of Christ, as everything we do as Christians should be, as Peter concludes in verse 18
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit.As Christ suffered for our sins to bring the unrighteous to God, we should be willing to suffer in the name of Christ to accomplish the work of Christ in this world. As Jesus said repeatedly in his teachings, it is only our suffering "for righteousness sake" that is blessed. I cannot suffer for being a jerk and expect to be rewarded by God!
The entire passage is worth meditating on, absorbing, ruminating on deeply, but the heart and soul of it is verses 8 and 9.
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
We must put unity and the needs of others ahead of our own feelings and goals. We are servants in the Body of Christ, who according to Paul are to put the needs of others even about our own (Philippians 2). We must maintain this humble, tender, sympathetic and godly spirit. That is so difficult, because a humble and tender spirit will be trounced repeatedly in a world like ours. But we must strive for it anyway.
We are to bless even those who revile us. That is not easy. Try it next time someone blasts your soul to the core - respond with a blessing! It will be the hardest thing you've ever done. But, Peter says, this is our calling from Christ, based on how he lived his life.
The goal in all of this is verse 16. Peter tells us to live lives of such holiness and love that when people do slander us, they are the ones who are shamed for their slander. And if we do suffer, verse 17 says, suffer for doing what is right, not for doing what is wrong.
I could live the rest of my life and never perfectly live out these verses, but it is a noble goal, a Christ-like goal. May God make the words of 1 Peter 3:8-22 a reality in my life and in yours - more and more every day.
Father, the ideal you set in this passage is not the life I have lived! I've returned evil for evil. I've not been the humble servant my Savior was and called me to be. But I pray you will make me more like that every day.
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