I read an article by another pastor about the intense loneliness that he goes through in his ministry. It was moving and struck a cord of familiarity with me. Even though we are "connected" through social media many of us live solitary lives. We feel cut off and isolated. Once, it was not unusual for people to die in the same home they were born in, to live their entire lives around the same small group of people in the same community - all of their lives. They were rooted! They knew who they were. But now we are tumbleweeds, rolling through life from place to place, relationship to relationship, church to church, job to job. Is it any wonder people feel as if they do not have the kinds of friends they want to have?
It brought emphasis to the truths that Solomon was focusing on in Proverbs 27:9-10. Friends, true friends, are one of the greatest treasures of life.
I got a call recently from one of the closest friends I ever had. During my first pastorate he had been both a friend and a mentor, a sounding board and a counselor. I'd probably shared more of my heart with that man than any other person I've known outside my family. When I moved to Iowa we lost touch - busy lives and ministries.
Then, out of the blue he called and we talked for an hour. When you have that kind of friend even nearly 25 years doesn't really tarnish things and we went right back to talking about our lives. I'll never forget one of the things he told me. "I'm in great health." It was ironic, because the next day I got a Facebook message telling me that he had died suddenly of a heart attack.
Friends are too great a treasure to forget or to ignore. We must nurture friendships and tend them with the kind of care we would a garden!
Verse 9 speaks of the "sweetness of a friend." Of course, God is our strength, our fortress, our source of hope. But friends are essential to life, providing the "oil and incense" of joy to the human heart. They are a treasure.
Because of that, Solomon instructs his sons to be good friends. Often, when we are lonely, we fail to focus on the right thing. If you want to have good friends you must be a friend. Our focus in loneliness is usually on how others treat us, but if we want friendships we have to be friends, we must focus on how we treat others. We must be friends - loyal, sacrificial, kind, and faithful in our relationships.
The most important goal in life is to love God. He is the one we need. But as we love him and serve him in this world it helps to have great friends to walk the road with us, to lift us when we fall, to strengthen us when our hands grow weak. And to have friends we must focus on being a friend.
Father, I thank you for friends you have given me through the years. Help me to be a friend every day.
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